Futile Enigma

In this eerie black space of complete darkness there is complete silence, a feeling of empty loneliness encompasses all things within it's grip. In the surpassing distance a faint gleam of light gradually brightens, forming the silhouettes of the foreground. You can begin to distinguish the sharp, protruding outlines of jagged rock formations and a craggy, winding path weaving its way between them. Giant stalactites reach down like menacing arms from the ceiling waiting to crush anything that comes within range and huge boulders lie strewn about the cavern floor surrounding the path.

A quick scan of the terrain draws attention to a more inviting and interesting form. This form seems to be moving at a slow pace deeper into the dark cavern towards the faint light. Off in the distance the light is ever so slowly and almost unnoticeably getting brighter as if it is getting closer. As the light brightens it is made more obvious that the form moving deeper into the cave is a person, a man. All that is visible is his silhouette with the exception of only the details of an oddly shaped hole passing through the center of his torso and his steamy breath in the icy darkness.

As the man moves closer and closer to the light, it’s pure brightness and warmth pass through the gaping hole contained by his dark silhouette, bathing the cavern floor behind him with a glowing brilliance. He is slowly gaining on the illumination but it is obvious that he is frustrated by his lack of speed. He travels for what seems like an eternity through the treacherous rock formations of the cave. As time passes he gets more and more anxious to satisfy the yearning he feels for the light. The man starts to run towards it because now it seems that this luminous brightness is essential for him to go on living. His path is full of many obstacles, which make it very difficult for him to continue. The winding trail leads him over great mounds of rock and jagged stones. Every step he takes he runs the risk of plummeting to his demise as he passes over cracks and holes that seem to have no end to their vastness. A strong wind penetrates him with a cold bitterness, biting away at his face and hindering his progression forward towards his goal. As he becomes exhausted he wants to rest but his need for what lies ahead overcomes his weariness and he continues his seemingly endless journey towards his now imperative desire. He knows if he does stop to regain his strength that his journey will have failed and he will never reach his destination so he pressures on through the impenetrable cavern. All he can think about is his craving for the light. He is tired of being showered in darkness, in this cold and lonely emptiness.

Finally the passage starts to widen and he can foresee that his journey is nearing a turning point. Now he is refilled with a new passion to persevere knowing that he is so close. Now suddenly the man stands on the border between light and darkness and feels a type of fear to continue on. He’s afraid the light will reject his gross intrusion into it’s beautiful domain. His need for this goal is so great that it overcomes all of his hesitations and he crosses the barrier of darkness into the fresh warmth of the superb radiance. As this brightness engulfs his body it is as if it begins to heal his wounds. As if it is draining away the pain from all he has endured along his great trek to reach this grand place. It fills him with even that much more desire to find the source of this light. He continues to walk forward feeling newly refreshed by the regenerative power of the light and yet at the same time he still feels empty. This beautiful light has healed his wounds, all but one. The hole in his chest still throbs with a contemptuous vacancy. Perhaps at the source of this brightness he can find the answer he has been searching for, the answer to the question that continually plagues him. What can fill this gaping void that he is cursed with? His hopes are high, higher than they have ever been before in this duration that is his life. As he approaches the turn that lies ahead of him a million things are going through his mind... What is this beauty coming from? How will it affect his life?

Then as he peers around his final turn he sees it. He sees the most wondrous, the most amazingly divine thing that he has ever laid eyes upon in his entire life. No, it’s more than that, it’s beyond words and perhaps even beyond dreams. A huge ball of rotating light that appears to be made up of some sort of warm liquid. It swirls with ever changing color while smaller spheres of light orbit around the central mass which move around it and merge into it in completely random and endless motion. While he is standing there in awe, staring at this wonder, there is only one question in his mind. He looks down at his chest and then back to the light... Can this refill his barren void of emptiness? He must know the answer to this query, which has burdened him for ages.

As he moves closer to touch the light he notices that a thin translucent barrier surrounds it. He didn’t notice it before because he was distracted by the brilliance of the light itself, but now he sees this fragile encasement of his goal. It’s almost like a glass cube with a bluish tinge and it rotates in the converse direction of the light. By itself it is beautiful and is warm and healing to the touch. He almost feels contentment while holding his hand against it but there is still the uncontainable urge to be in direct contact with that which it encases.

This final barrier to his seemingly so important destination is the most perplexing of them all. How can he get through other than to break it? How could one destroy something of such beauty? He walks around and around it, searching for a way inside. As frustration sets in from getting absolutely no where with his scrutinization he kneels down and pounds the ground with fury. He has to have what is within this barrier, but yet he is so afraid of losing the beauty that is already visible to him. Finally, with much reluctance, he seizes a rock from the cavern floor and returns to his feet. He gazes at the barrier hovering before him, then to the rock he holds in his clutched fist, and then once more to the obstacle once more. He is so confused and torn from this dilemma he doesn't know what to do. A single tear falls from his cheek. He leans back, shaking his head in resentment towards himself, and hurls the rock towards the fragile wall of glass.

It's as if everything from this point on moves in slow motion, one frame at a time. The stone glides through the air, spinning out of control. He watches his destructive projectile as it approaches what is so important to him. Then the stone passes through the glass, shattering it into a million pieces of shimmering spectacles of light. For the first time the silence is broken. He hears the deafening sound of breaking glass echoing all around him from the cavern walls as if screaming in pain as it splinters into nothingness. He watches with guilt for he knows that what he has just done is the most terrible thing that could be accomplished by anyone or anything. Just as the final sound of falling glass silences, he looks upon the great light and it fills him not with love, but with an even more barren emotion. He can feel the bitter coldness inside of him become even more potent than before. He stares at the once beautiful light now as it steadily fades. What he needed with all the passion in the world is now dying before his very eyes. What makes it so much more hideous of an outrage is that it was brought on by his own hand. He gazes on as the last hint of light fades from view forever. Now he has returned to a somber darkness as his journey ends, it was for nothing. As that glass broke, so did his hopes for happiness and fulfillment. He collapses to the floor with his eyes clasped tightly in a wince of pain. His dreams are dead.